Brianna Garcia – April May June 2013




BRIANNA GARCIA MISS APRIL MAY JUNE 2013 HOT CHICK OF THE MONTH

Brianna Garcia - April May June 2013As you know by now, it is in the wake of our annual Smartasses Magazine Top 100 Sexiest Women List, revealed each and every March, where we hand pick one particularly uber-sexy chickie-babe for our feature spot of the year, and name her “Miss April May June”… and even though there’s a little tongue-in-cheek humor in the fact that a gal could actually be named, “April May June”, there’s certainly nothing funny about our queen-of-the-scene for twenty-thirteen. However, this year, if you cried “April Fools”, even though you’d be wrong – nobody would blame you for thinking so.

Meet, Brianna Garcia, the gal who became, thanks to a heart-stopping handsomeness and singular sophisticated style which she had mastered at a particularly precipitant age, an Internet phenomenon with genuine celebrity status, by being one of the most faked female personalities in history. Thanks to the aforementioned infinite number of Brianna fakes out there, flooding the information highway with a veritable cornucopia of misinformation, as one of her fans put it, “(Brianna’s) been 21 since she was 12.” Truth be told, even if that is a bit of an exaggeration, seeing as how this French, Welsh, Irish, Cuban, Polish, and Dominican dame never really started posting her Vogue-esque pictures on MySpace til she was around 15 or so, and just celebrated her 21st birthday this past March, still, our 2013 feature femme-fatale is a Pisces, and we all know they’re the adults of the zodiac.

Combined with a less than piece-of-cake path in life which evoked an exigency where Garcia needed to grow up fast, and it makes one consider that maybe that fan wasn’t so far from the farm after all. Even though our vegan Miss April May June was born in the Big Apple, and has lived just about everywhere from the southern tip of Florida to the mean-streets of Detroit, don’t start spreadin’ the news’ any time soon- this tawny-eyed tootsie is an L.A. gal now, through and through. Don’t expect to see number sixty-nine on Smartasses 2013 Top 100 Sexiest Women at a Dodgers game anytime soon either. For Brianna, it’s all about modeling and music, and your best prospect to play paparazzo is to catch her while she’s playing front-woman on the microphone, singing for the band Lust & Lies.

Barmy for Brianna? If you didn’t catch her in the Spring 2013 catalog for Pink Ice, don’t get your panties in a bunch. You can check out her Bio & Gallery, find her on Twitter, Facebook, or her Official Website… and of course on Model Mayhem.

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Brianna Garcia – “Gay bars with my mom as a toddler were always a treat.”

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20 Questions with Brianna J Garcia – Miss April May June 2013

Brianna Garcia - April May June 20131- The worst advice my mother ever gave me was: To go to Christian school… ‘They have nicer kids there,’ she said… ‘You will get a better education there…’ She said. That was all a load of crap.

2- The last good movie I watched was: VHS. Very original take on a horror film. Loved it. Plus, pretty much all the killers were chicks.

3- My favorite pig out food is: Pizza & Chinese, those are my absolute favorites.

4- My favorite actress is: Angelina Jolie, she’s a beast.

4.2 – My favorite actor is: Johnny Depp… I always thought him & Angelina would make a perfect couple, they seem very similar.

5- My favorite childhood memory is: That’s tough… I am drawing a blank but… gay bars with my mom as a toddler were always a treat. They never had a problem letting a two year old baby girl in as long as she could hang with her fabulous fag-hag mother till 2 AM.

6- My favorite bands and musical artists are: I love ToolZeppelin of course, Serj. My favorites are interchangeable.

7- My most prized possession is: My life.

8- My most major accomplishment: Hasn’t happened yet.

Brianna Garcia - April May June 20139- My personal hero is: My mom, she would do anything for me… Which is why I never ask her for anything anymore, ever. She is the sweetest.

10- I’d give anything to: …

11- I’ve never been able to: Ice Skate, Roller Blade/Skate, or Skateboard… Have tried them all, especially ice skating… I used to go with my friends all the time in the winter in Florida at the ice rinks… After a while the friends who couldn’t skate like me, started to catch on, which is when I couldn’t go anymore, because that was just embarrassing. All of them always a failure. I have no coordination or something… And wobbly ankles.

12- The worst part of my job is: Modeling, has long hours and I am always sore from the crazy poses the next day. Music is very hard on life, but worth it. I guess they both are.

13- My fantasy is: Playing stadiums, and changing something about the world for the better.

14- The one thing I cannot stand in people is: People who can never congratulate, only criticize . People who try to tell you how to live your life, when they are no better than you. People who point fingers with dirty hands.

15- If I could change one thing about myself, it would be: It would be nice to not be so hard on myself sometimes. Everyone in my life at some point or another always try’s to get me not to put such immense pressure and stress on myself all the time, I am always thinking, always wishing to perfect things, and always judging myself.

Brianna Garcia - April May June 201316- My most embarrassing moment was: I embarrass myself all the time. Probably the stuff that isn’t meant to be taken seriously and ends up on Youtube for the world to judge me on, that is not even serious that is taken seriously.

17- Nobody knows I am: Trained in bullet & bomb resistance. Shortly after I turned 18 I worked for a company based in Laguna Beach called, ‘Safe Zone Ballistics.’ Started as a personal assistant & moved up into Eastern Regional Vice President position. For the first time after my mom & step dad divorced and everyone went broke that I had money of my own, good money. And I was traveling the country and living in my own office in Laguna Beach, California… Most of my friends thought my parents still had money (that they didn’t have since I was 16), and I was traveling with them. Some refused to believe it even with countless amounts of photographic evidence of everything from the locations, hotels, work, my bosses, at The NYC bomb-squad testing merchandise, and even my business cards & pictures in my office with the equipment. It was rather empowering.

18- My friends like me because: What friends? haha… My friends like me because I’ve either known them forever, we have made or make music together, or have worked together in the fashion industry… They probably don’t all like me.

19- Behind my back they say: Things about me that they do not know or understand.

20- My favorite color is: Red, or sometimes pink… I usually prefer the absence of color. Or shades.

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© Smartasses June 2013

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